Meet Touks.

Listen. It’s a long story, but…

…I went to a quantum hypnotherapy sesh and met my higher self — who, in this particular psyche deepdive, presented as a tropical wing’d creature with beady lil eyes that can see everything not unlike your mom when you dip your hand into the cookie jar before dinner (btw it’s beef stroganoff, again).

Yep. My higher self is a toucan. Confusi-lovingly nicknamed Touks.

And apparently he wanted me to write this memoir / essay collection / creativity exorcism documenting my quest to reclaim my voice — and my absolute love nay NEED nope MOLTEN-HOT-LAVA ACHE to catch my flighty, perfectionist, word-obsessed inner world onto the page before I implode under the weight of being a woman and a parent and ::flails arms about:: capitalism. and such.

So here it is. Raw, rambly, real. Funny in a dark-millennial sorta way. Devastatingly deadpan-beautiful. Full of Blockbuster metaphors, theatrical flashbacks, and the occasional spiritual tantrum. You’re welcome?

For a preview:

Coming soon-ish*…

*Could be sooner if one prophetic literary agent / editor / publisher decides to throw caution to the wind and bet on a rising star who absolutely, unequivocally, undeniably could not have written this thing with AI.

Also no it’s not a bestseller because it’s not finished or published or under any sort of book deal YET and also it hasn’t won any awards but y’all I’m in my manifesting era just let a girl be delulu with Canva, okay!?

It’s important to note that no drugs were consumed during basically almost all of my existence except for copious amounts of caffeine and that feeling you get when you start a new planner.

STAT MEANS NOW!

⏱️

STAT MEANS NOW! ⏱️

Words of praise again just go with it.

  • "Your writing really gets me hooked. It's a masterpiece."

  • "An excellent start to a micro essay on writing. Friggin great piece!"

  • "Your words are always a balm that soothes those wounds I didn’t know still lingered."

  • "I'm going to start collecting your confused poetry like a dragon hoarding precious metals."

  • "This is raw, hilarious, and profoundly relatable."

  • "So good! More. MORE!"

  • "Allow me to neurodivergently collect you somehow please."

  • "I am absolutely mesmerized by the way you use words."

  • "Your posts have encouraged me to step more into my voice on here. Thank you."

  • "I like your version of ✨magic✨ very much!"

  • "Never stop writing like this."

  • "I’m not being hyperbolic when I say you’re one of the best writers on my feed for both content and style. "

  • "You are quite good at ode-ing."

  • "This is why you are a 'double bell' for me."

  • "I need to come up with more ways to say this really hit me."

  • "You could put all these into a book. I'd buy it."

  • "This is some Millenial Emeritus-ing at its finest."

  • "I identify with this on a spiritual level."

  • "The poetry, the little winks and nods, yes, but this actually made me cry: 'We write like humans, but never like ourselves.'"

  • "Damn, ok. I guess I will go back to my dusty notebook of story ideas and see what I can revisit."

  • "When I am CMO you will be. first. against. the. wall."

  • "You're a poet and a soothsayer."

  • "This is probably the most beautiful thing I've read today."

  • "What a beautiful way to encapsulate what it is to write with emotional empathy."

  • "Thank you for putting words to something I’ve felt so often but rarely seen named so clearly."

  • "Thank you for this nudge to keep bleeding onto the page, even when it's tempting to hold back!"

  • "You’re the reason strangers feel less alone at 2 am."

  • "Publish! Publish! Publish! And then, do it some more!"

  • "I really want you to keep writing Vanessa! Like damn, never ever stop."

  • "I feel seen. And I feel gloriously beautiful. Thank you!"

  • "God this is electric."

  • "You should ditch this copywriting thing and write a novel."

  • "Honestly, this feels like a group therapy session disguised as a scroll break and I love it."

more about moi.