Touks Made Me Write This

A memoir-in-essays // Forthcoming with Gremlin Books

Listen. It’s a long story…

But during a hypnotherapy session gifted to me by my mom the day before my 20th high-school reunion (normal), my “higher self” showed up as a tropical bird — sharp-eyed, slightly judgmental, impossible to ignore.

A toucan. Confusi-lovingly named Touks.

You can interpret that as metaphor, coping mechanism, creative breakthrough, or mild midlife unraveling. I’m fine with any of the above. What matters is this:

Touks insisted I write my book. So here we are.

The vibe.

After decades of optimizing herself into something polished and performative (puke!), a word-obsessed millennial hits the point where rejection finally feels safer than self-erasure and detonates her “pink sparkle” — the diary-soaked voice of her analog girlhood — onto the most unlikely stage.

What it is.

• a memoir-in-essays
• a creativity CPR manual for over-optimized millennials
• a weirdly heartfelt collision of nostalgia, cringe, reinvention, and pink sparkle

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Reader side effects include:

  • "She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid."

  • "Best writer here. And embarrassingly prolific."

  • "Your writing is a masterpiece."

  • "Your words are a balm that soothes those wounds I didn’t know still lingered."

  • "I'm going to start collecting your confused poetry like a dragon hoarding precious metals."

  • "This is raw, hilarious, and profoundly relatable."

  • "So good! More. MORE!"

  • "Allow me to neurodivergently collect you somehow please."

  • "I am absolutely mesmerized by the way you use words."

  • "Your posts have encouraged me to step more into my voice on here. Thank you."

  • "I like your version of ✨magic✨ very much!"

  • "Never stop writing like this."

  • "I’m not being hyperbolic when I say you’re one of the best writers on my feed for both content and style. "

  • "You are quite good at ode-ing."

  • "This is why you are a 'double bell' for me."

  • "I need to come up with more ways to say this really hit me."

  • "You could put all these into a book. I'd buy it."

  • "This is some Millenial Emeritus-ing at its finest."

  • "I identify with this on a spiritual level."

  • "The poetry, the little winks and nods, yes, but this actually made me cry: 'We write like humans, but never like ourselves.'"

  • "Damn, ok. I guess I will go back to my dusty notebook of story ideas and see what I can revisit."

  • "When I am CMO you will be. first. against. the. wall."

  • "You're a poet and a soothsayer."

  • "This is probably the most beautiful thing I've read today."

  • "What a beautiful way to encapsulate what it is to write with emotional empathy."

  • "Thank you for putting words to something I’ve felt so often but rarely seen named so clearly."

  • "Thank you for this nudge to keep bleeding onto the page, even when it's tempting to hold back!"

  • "You’re the reason strangers feel less alone at 2 am."

  • "Publish! Publish! Publish! And then, do it some more!"

  • "I really want you to keep writing Vanessa! Like damn, never ever stop."

  • "I feel seen. And I feel gloriously beautiful. Thank you!"

  • "God this is electric."

  • "You should ditch this copywriting thing and write a novel."

  • "Honestly, this feels like a group therapy session disguised as a scroll break and I love it."

  • "Came for the writing philosophy, stayed for the Alex Mack reference."

  • "This is incredibly moving. And somehow hilarious at the same. time."

  • "When I am dead my ghost will create a new LinkedIn account to come back and read this again just for the pleasure of it."

  • "Your writing is the hatching-dinosaur-egg candy in the LinkedIn feed oatmeal."

  • "Your writing is so good I want you to think my thoughts for me."

  • "This is absolutely glorious. We are not worthy."

  • "This was an unqualified delicacy for my inner word nerd. "

  • "I woke my husband laughing out loud. Thank you."

  • "OMG what a pure piece of literature."

  • "All the more golden retriever energy. Please. It's amazing and contagious."

  • "Saving doesn't feel enough; I'm gonna have to fire up the printer for this."

  • "Beautifully said in the most Proust-like sentence structure known to humanity."

  • "This is the type of literary treasure high schoolers should be studying and over-analyzing in classes."

  • "The reckoning you have created within me upon this revelation."

  • "Brilliant writing. A few commas and some carriage returns and it's a 'Leaves of Grass.'"

  • "I feel like I just lived a John Hughes film."

  • "HOW are you such a good writer that you can write about 💩 and turn it into art?"

  • "I can't say this is the best thing I've ever read but it could be #2, Vanessa."

THE PINK SPARKLY PILL.

About the author.

(AKA moi.)

THIS WEIRDO AGAIN.

For the media.

PRESS ME.