Okay, so hi.

I’m Vanessa Childers,

author of the memoir-in-essays

Touks Made Me Write This

a millennial fever dream about clawing my way back to the maximalist, diary-soaked voice of my analog girlhood — on the most unlikely stage*.

(*LinkedIn. It’s LinkedIn.)

BOOK DEETS.

Um… sure.

But what is a Touks?

Touks is a mythological / metaphorical toucan who presented as my higher self during an altered state of consciousness and bestowed upon me the wisdom to “keep vibin’ on LinkedIn” (wow okay) but also to pursue my childhood dream of writing, like, an actual book so here we are.

just... here.

Tiny internet compliments

  • "She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid."

  • "She’s amazing. Best writer here. And embarrassingly prolific."

  • "Your writing really gets me hooked. It's a masterpiece."

  • "An excellent start to a micro essay on writing. Friggin great piece!"

  • "Your words are always a balm that soothes those wounds I didn’t know still lingered."

  • "I'm going to start collecting your confused poetry like a dragon hoarding precious metals."

  • "This is raw, hilarious, and profoundly relatable."

  • "So good! More. MORE!"

  • "Allow me to neurodivergently collect you somehow please."

  • "I am absolutely mesmerized by the way you use words."

  • "Your posts have encouraged me to step more into my voice on here. Thank you."

  • "I like your version of ✨magic✨ very much!"

  • "Never stop writing like this."

  • "I’m not being hyperbolic when I say you’re one of the best writers on my feed for both content and style. "

  • "You are quite good at ode-ing."

  • "This is why you are a 'double bell' for me."

  • "I need to come up with more ways to say this really hit me."

  • "You could put all these into a book. I'd buy it."

  • "This is some Millenial Emeritus-ing at its finest."

  • "I identify with this on a spiritual level."

  • "The poetry, the little winks and nods, yes, but this actually made me cry: 'We write like humans, but never like ourselves.'"

  • "Damn, ok. I guess I will go back to my dusty notebook of story ideas and see what I can revisit."

  • "When I am CMO you will be. first. against. the. wall."

  • "You're a poet and a soothsayer."

  • "This is probably the most beautiful thing I've read today."

  • "What a beautiful way to encapsulate what it is to write with emotional empathy."

  • "Thank you for putting words to something I’ve felt so often but rarely seen named so clearly."

  • "Thank you for this nudge to keep bleeding onto the page, even when it's tempting to hold back!"

  • "You’re the reason strangers feel less alone at 2 am."

  • "Publish! Publish! Publish! And then, do it some more!"

  • "I really want you to keep writing Vanessa! Like damn, never ever stop."

  • "I feel seen. And I feel gloriously beautiful. Thank you!"

  • "God this is electric."

  • "You should ditch this copywriting thing and write a novel."

  • "Honestly, this feels like a group therapy session disguised as a scroll break and I love it."

  • "Came for the writing philosophy, stayed for the Alex Mack reference."

  • "This is incredibly moving. And somehow hilarious at the same. time."

  • "When I am dead my ghost will create a new LinkedIn account to come back and read this again just for the pleasure of it."

  • "Your writing is the hatching-dinosaur-egg candy in the LinkedIn feed oatmeal."

  • "Your writing is so good I want you to think my thoughts for me."

  • "This is absolutely glorious. We are not worthy."

  • "This was an unqualified delicacy for my inner word nerd. "

  • "I woke my husband laughing out loud. Thank you."

  • "OMG what a pure piece of literature."

  • "All the more golden retriever energy. Please. It's amazing and contagious."

  • "Saving doesn't feel enough; I'm gonna have to fire up the printer for this."

  • "Beautifully said in the most Proust-like sentence structure known to humanity."

  • "This is the type of literary treasure high schoolers should be studying and over-analyzing in classes."

  • "The reckoning you have created within me upon this revelation."

  • "Brilliant writing. A few commas and some carriage returns and it's a 'Leaves of Grass.'"

  • "I feel like I just lived a John Hughes film."

I also ghostwrite

on LinkeyDink.

(Sorry, that’s LinkedIn.
I’m talking about LinkedIn again.)

Need help luring your own unique flavor of weird out from under the sofa?

make a wish.