HELLO
I’M A
PROFESHY
WRITER.
Pinky Swear.
Vanessa Childers

I’m Vanessa Childers.

Author. Word nerd. Millennial goof.

Forthcoming from Gremlin Books Reed Press Fellow 12K+ readers
The book
Touks Made Me Write This — cover
Cover
art
TBD

Touks Made Me Write This

A memoir-in-essays and creativity-CPR manual for over-optimized millennials — a weirdly heartfelt collision of nostalgia, cringe, reinvention, and pink sparkle. Out 2027.

01
For you

The Mess.

Instant Mess — strange little Substack essays on nostalgia, reinvention, and the cringey, tender, over-thought stuff I used to filter out.

Get in, loser → 02
For weirdos

The Toucan.

Meet the mystical tropical bird who coaxed this very unserious stream-of-consciousness style out of the woodwork — and refuses to shut up.

Squawk →
03
For brands

The Work.

Taglines, titling, brand-voicey nonsense, and whole website-design mockups — because hyperfixation is my entire business model.

Reviews

Tiny internet compliments.

I swear these are real.

“She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid.”
“Best writer here. And embarrassingly prolific.”
“Your writing really gets me hooked. It’s a masterpiece.”
“I am absolutely mesmerized by the way you use words.”
“Never stop writing like this.”
“You’re a poet and a soothsayer.”
“God this is electric.”
“This is absolutely glorious. We are not worthy.”
“So good! More. MORE!”
“You are quite good at ode-ing.”
“You could put all these into a book. I’d buy it.”
“I feel like I just lived a John Hughes film.”
“This is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve read today.”
“Publish! Publish! Publish! And then, do it some more!”
“I feel seen. And I feel gloriously beautiful. Thank you!”
“OMG what a pure piece of literature.”
“You’re the reason strangers feel less alone at 2 am.”
“I woke my husband laughing out loud. Thank you.”
“Allow me to neurodivergently collect you somehow please.”
“This is raw, hilarious, and profoundly relatable.”
I blame Touks for all of this.
© 2026 Vanessa Childers  ·  site design.
Touks, peeking