"She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid." — someone on LinkedIn ✨

"She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid." — someone on LinkedIn ✨

Okay, so hi.

I’m Vanessa Childers,


author of the memoir-in-essays

Touks Made Me Write This


a millennial fever-dream memoir about clawing my way back to the maximalist, diary-soaked voice of my analog girlhood — on the most unlikely stage.

(LinkedIn. It’s LinkedIn.)

Forthcoming with Gremlin Books

It's giving Pulitzer, babe.

🏆

It's giving Pulitzer, babe. 🏆

Um… sure.

But who or what is a Touks?

JUST... HERE.
A top view of a person rowing a kayak or canoe on a river or lake with trees along the shoreline.

I also ghostwrite for peeps on LinkeyDink.

(Sorry, that’s LinkedIn.
I’m talking about LinkedIn again.)

Curious about the exorbitant price I charge for simply luring your own unique flavor of weird out from under the sofa?

I INVITE YOU TO *GASP.*
A top view of a person rowing a kayak or canoe on a river or lake with trees along the shoreline.

People on LinkedIn think I’m cool, so.

  • "She is the Kurt Vonnegut for the 90s kid."

  • "She’s amazing. Best writer here. And embarrassingly prolific."

  • "Your writing really gets me hooked. It's a masterpiece."

  • "An excellent start to a micro essay on writing. Friggin great piece!"

  • "Your words are always a balm that soothes those wounds I didn’t know still lingered."

  • "I'm going to start collecting your confused poetry like a dragon hoarding precious metals."

  • "This is raw, hilarious, and profoundly relatable."

  • "So good! More. MORE!"

  • "Allow me to neurodivergently collect you somehow please."

  • "I am absolutely mesmerized by the way you use words."

  • "Your posts have encouraged me to step more into my voice on here. Thank you."

  • "I like your version of ✨magic✨ very much!"

  • "Never stop writing like this."

  • "I’m not being hyperbolic when I say you’re one of the best writers on my feed for both content and style. "

  • "You are quite good at ode-ing."

  • "This is why you are a 'double bell' for me."

  • "I need to come up with more ways to say this really hit me."

  • "You could put all these into a book. I'd buy it."

  • "This is some Millenial Emeritus-ing at its finest."

  • "I identify with this on a spiritual level."

  • "The poetry, the little winks and nods, yes, but this actually made me cry: 'We write like humans, but never like ourselves.'"

  • "Damn, ok. I guess I will go back to my dusty notebook of story ideas and see what I can revisit."

  • "When I am CMO you will be. first. against. the. wall."

  • "You're a poet and a soothsayer."

  • "This is probably the most beautiful thing I've read today."

  • "What a beautiful way to encapsulate what it is to write with emotional empathy."

  • "Thank you for putting words to something I’ve felt so often but rarely seen named so clearly."

  • "Thank you for this nudge to keep bleeding onto the page, even when it's tempting to hold back!"

  • "You’re the reason strangers feel less alone at 2 am."

  • "Publish! Publish! Publish! And then, do it some more!"

  • "I really want you to keep writing Vanessa! Like damn, never ever stop."

  • "I feel seen. And I feel gloriously beautiful. Thank you!"

  • "God this is electric."

  • "You should ditch this copywriting thing and write a novel."

  • "Honestly, this feels like a group therapy session disguised as a scroll break and I love it."

  • "Came for the writing philosophy, stayed for the Alex Mack reference."

  • "This is incredibly moving. And somehow hilarious at the same. time."

  • "When I am dead my ghost will create a new LinkedIn account to come back and read this again just for the pleasure of it."

  • "Your writing is the hatching-dinosaur-egg candy in the LinkedIn feed oatmeal."

  • "Your writing is so good I want you to think my thoughts for me."

  • "This is absolutely glorious. We are not worthy."

  • "This was an unqualified delicacy for my inner word nerd. "

  • "I woke my husband laughing out loud. Thank you."

  • "OMG what a pure piece of literature."

  • "All the more golden retriever energy. Please. It's amazing and contagious."

  • "Saving doesn't feel enough; I'm gonna have to fire up the printer for this."

  • "Beautifully said in the most Proust-like sentence structure known to humanity."

  • "This is the type of literary treasure high schoolers should be studying and over-analyzing in classes."

  • "The reckoning you have created within me upon this revelation."

  • "Brilliant writing. A few commas and some carriage returns and it's a 'Leaves of Grass.'"

  • "I feel like I just lived a John Hughes film."

SEE MAH LINKEY STUFF.